Anxious!!

Hola Amigos!

THIS POST CONTAINS SWEARING AND DEEP THOUGHTS. READ AT OWN RISK.

How are you?? Did you miss me? You did, didn't you.. haha aw shucks, I'm blushing!
 
So today I wanted to talk about the fact that my college REOPENS TOMORROW!! And I'm kinda freaking out...!!
 
I'm SO not ready to go back to waking up at 7.30am and being out the house by 8.40 to get to this disgusting place filled with mossy buildings by 9!
UGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
For any of you who know me on a deep, personal level (hey all 2 of you) you know that I'm a lot more fucked up than I lead on. I have an ongoing list of mental health issues that I'm dealing with. But there's one in particular that is taking the lead today... hello anxiety! I'm feeling so so so anxious about seeing everyone tomorrow and being back at this place where I don't fit in AT ALL.
 
One of the main reasons why I feel anxious is, I guess because I don't have many friends there, and not many people like me. I have like 4 friends and one of them is constantly in the 'it's complicated' section of my life.
Okay, so I've not always been a loser with minimal friends, I was once liked very much by everyone in my tutor group. But then I got too close to one person (we are going to call her 'Thin Tomato') Long story short, she basically turned everyone against her and automatically making them dislike me because apparently we come as a 'package deal' ...? 
So, me and Thin Tomato are kinda at a 'rough patch' we could call it. But I'm basically trying not to talk to her a lot because she causes a lot of negativity in my life and I'm trying to stay as positive and as happy and healthy as I can be and being around her does occasionally make that little task very hard. 
There is one person who definitely gets me through the day and she doesn't even know it, (let's call her, 'Smart Car'.... hey bitch, you know who you are :*! )  I've never really told her this before but, her being in the same tutor group as me makes me feel reassured and reminds me that I can act like a total twat and its okay! She doesn't even have to say anything, but by her just being in the same class room as me definitely helps!

I wanna get real deep for a minute, as I said earlier I have a list on ongoing mental health issues. And over the summer I did avoid bumping into a few. But I'm worried that now college is starting again a lot of these issues will come back to play and I seriously don't have the energy to deal with them... Any tips on how to avoid them?
I would like to congratulate myself (because I'm a vain shit) for still holding on, and carrying on with my life despite my rocky past.

I guess I just need to take deep breathes and maybe tomorrow won't be TOO bad..?

Okay so I think I've bored you enough. Thanks for reading!!
Speak soon!

Froot Loop Queen
xoxo


P.S. I may not post every day so don't get too attached to me LOL ily xx